Mansee's Point Of View

5 things I would save in case of a fire

2012-01-24T19:44:00.001+05:30

I have not been writing since ages and a friend asked me this question and it sort of inspired me to write this--so thank you N!

In case a fire breaks down suddenly, what would be the 5 things I would save ?

1. My phone – In the last year, I have become addicted to my phone, especially after I have installed internet in it. From time to time, I have the compulsion to check it and I sort of feel incomplete without it. Just last week, I forgot to carry it to work and I felt really uncomfortable. I somehow managed to request somebody to get it and was relieved when I got it at noon!! The phone also serves as an alarm, a camera, a music system, a handycam, a directory, a reminder list, a calendar, a calculator, a torchlight, a notepad, a chat device (courtesy whats app), internet provider and the works. The best thing being - it’s a simple Nokia – E5. And it has not given up on me in spite of the million times I’ve dropped it!

2. My car key – This year, my biggest purchase was my car! And the one item ticked off from my bucket list was the ability to actually drive it! Not claiming that I’m a pro at it yet – (infact, far from it would some people claim) but I’m glad that I’ve started. I love the feeling when I drive- I feel in control and totally independent and m luving it! So my car key is an obvious second :)

3. My wallet- it has all the essentials- money, debit cards, driving license and all the other essentials….so it’s the more practical choice. If I have them, I can always buy “stuff”

4. A pair of shoes- since I have an inbuilt habit to change from my house slippers to some shoes/ slips on – this would be an obvious choice too ..but which??? hmmm... definitely something without heels; fancy ones will have to wait or burn!

5. I thought and I thought and I thought – and came with no apparently obvious answer. Maybe the latest book I’m reading- if it is really interesting and I NEED to know the end! Or maybe I will pick up the purse lying close to the exit or I will pick up the phone charger if the phone is getting charged ….I really don’t know – depends on the situation.

But what really got me thinking is the fact that there are so many useless things lying in the house...so many things that are just lying there for the heck of it…some used from time to time and some not even used since ages -- with the intention to use it when or if required…I mean all this is just “stuff” -- unimportant/ less important, space consuming and can be totally done away with. This sort of prompted me to go on a de-clutter exercise this year. To remove all the stuff which I have never used in the last year. If I did not need it in the last 365 days, I probably don’t require it. The least I can do is to pass on the same to somebody more needful. To make it more workable, need to put a target date to it. March 2012 seems doable- Amen!

What about you? If there was a fire, what are the 5 THINGS you will save from your house?

Need Less and live more

2011-09-21T22:52:00.000+05:30

Most of us want more. More money, more clothes, more shoes, more bags, more cars, more phones, more information, more subordinates, more maids, more vacations, more houses, more jewelry, more gadgets, more kids, more options (in most of the choices)- hell, some of us even want more boyfriends and girlfriends :P (not wives/husbands- mind you!)

But does more money, more clothes, more houses, more cars lead to more happiness?? Somebody mentioned recently that it’s good to want more – it adds more meaning to one’s life. Though I inwardly smiled at the absurdity of the statement, I know that there are many others who think on the same lines. What we fail to understand that "Being more" adds meaning to your life, not "wanting more". And how can you “Be more??” by wanting less.I know sounds strange but only by wanting less – and having a life removed from the unnecessary material goods and the relentless flow of media, you can find a rhythm that can be comforting and sensuous. Think of the “more” time you get which you can spend reading, thinking, innovating – oh yeah, there may be huge benefits from a life more ordinary.

I’m not saying that stop wanting; it’s not possible- whom am I fooling? I am not a Monk who sold my Ferrari. There is no way that I can stop wanting but yeah- what I can do is to reduce the wants/ desires. I don’t like to go shopping- especially to Malls just for the heck of it. I only go if I really want to buy something – that does not mean that today I get this desire and wham! I go and fulfill it. No- I wait, wait some more…only after some time when I feel the extreme need, do I indulge.

Many a times we keep things even if we don’t need or use them- because we’re afraid of what could happen if we get rid of those things/ don’t buy those things. This fear can be conquered through small tests. For e.g. try going without something for just a little while (a day or a week) and see what happens. You’ll find that fears are not as justified as we thought them to be.

The more we focus on living, the less it seems we need. How do we do that? By a gradual shift from caring about possessions and status and goals and beautiful things … to caring about actual life.

Take a long walk, create things, have conversations with friends, snuggle with your partner, play with your kids, eat simple food, read the book you have been wanting to, go outside and get active.

In short, need less and live more. Amen :)

Bol

2011-09-21T21:38:00.000+05:30

Saw “Bol” some time back..the hard hitting film comes from Shoaib Mansoor– the same director who had directed the impactful “Khuda ke liye” (which I have reviewed earlier http://mansee-pov.blogspot.com/2008/11/khuda-ke-liye-for-sake-of-god.html) . Bol was equally impressive, if not more. The movie is about a migrated Muslim family in Lahore, headed by the father – an impoverished Hakim who in his desire for a son has raised a big line of daughters. His limited means of income being a major hindrance to feed the endless mouths. At last, his wife gives birth to a son who unfortunately turns out to be a “hermaphrodite.” Though the film initially starts with the injustice of the father towards this “so called son”, it ends up addressing more issues than that. I left the multiplex with questions simmering within me…
Apart from the important yet commonly showcased issues like the intense craving for a male heir, regressive attitude towards women in Pakistan’s patriarchal society and various prejudices perpetuated in the name of religion, the film raised some disturbing questions…
Is murdering someone always a crime? If the murder is committed to remove oppression/ bring justice/ defend or prevent a wrong doing – is it not justified? I am not trying to imply that we should start murdering all the people who are in the wrong / have committed a crime. You can’t do that- after all you cannot take the law in your hands but sometimes the situation demands so. If you don’t take that step, you are allowing a greater crime to commit place- thus leaving you with no option but to commit the crime.
The biggest question which the movie ends with is – if killing is a crime, then isn’t giving birth also a crime? Especially when you are aware that you don’t have the financial means to take care of the child. Forget giving a decent education and up-bringing – if you cannot even provide the basic necessities of food, clothing and shelter, then what right do you have, to give birth to one kid after another? There are enough miserable/ malnourished children already in the world- why do you have to add to that?
In the movie, the father had to commit one crime/mistake after another to hide his first crime. All this in his false sense of “right hood.” There has to be a stop somewhere, where one has to own up to his crimes or the crimes will start owning you. That’s what happened – the father forgot the sense of “right” and “wrong” and got caught up in his web of crimes.
Though there are quite a few shortcomings in the movie, there's an inherent sincerity in ‘Bol’ that compels you to look beyond its shortcomings.
This movie is for a serious audience. If you want to watch a mindless entertainer with mindless violence or romance, watch “Bodyguard” instead.

Is it for real?

2011-06-12T12:09:00.003+05:30

A friend recently shared that he had a “drink date” with his chat friend over “skype” last weekend. Both did not talk much – music was on at both their respective homes; just that they were refilling their drinks together. His statement made me feel sad and elated at the same time.

Sad because I felt that was a lonely way to socialize. It is always nicer to share a drink/dinner with a person in the same room as against online. Why elated then? Hmm…many of us sometimes may be surrounded by lot of people we know – family/ friends/ office colleagues etc. But sometimes there is something missing…maybe a connect, which you find with somebody miles away. Why to be bogged down then by geographical differences when we have the advantage of telecommunication.

Call me a traditionalist, but I still like to meet people personally then chat with them over the phone/net/skype. A ” “ over the net cannot compare to a real smile and texting ” X0X ” (hugs and kisses) can no ways compare to the real thing!

Is Less the new More?

2011-04-18T21:20:00.000+05:30

“The Art of choosing” by Sheena Iyengar has a chapter dedicated to a study she conducted where it was observed that although extensive choice seems appealing, research shows that it may hinder motivation to buy and decrease subsequent satisfaction with purchased goods. She conducted a study where in a departmental store; she kept a tasting booth of jams. Every few hours she switched between offering a large assortment of jams (24 flavors of jams) and a small one (6 flavors of jams). It was found that 60% were drawn to the large assortment and only 40% to the small one – yet only 3% actually bought a jar from the large assortment and 30% bought a jar from the small one. Post the Jam study, she also conducted experiments on the assortment size. These studies, many of which were designed to replicate real world choosing contexts, have found fairly consistently that when people are given a moderate number of options (4 to 6) rather than a large number (20 to 30), they are more likely to have a choice, are more confident in their decisions and are happier with what they choose.

It is important to have a choice – just imagine, you need to buy a shirt and you go to a shop where there is only one option (quite possible for people on the heavier side like me :- () You come back disappointed (you will buy only if you are in urgent need of one – I have actually done that once when I had to go for the fourth interview in an organization and had exhausted all my shirt options which could go well with the blazer, I had no option, but to buy the single shirt available in my size). But how much is too much? George Miller, a cognitive psychologist has published that the number of objects an average human can hold in his working memory is 7 ± 2. Anything more, it is difficult to process information.

What is your take? How many options would you like? Would it differ? For example, I would like to have more options (definitely more then 7 ± 2) for clothes or books or movies but fewer for financial services (It is difficult to understand one product – how do I find the inclination or drive to understand 20??). Have there been cases where you needed to buy something and got rattled because of the number of options and eventually returned empty handed? Do write in….will love to know your point of views….

The Last Lecture (Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow)

2011-04-13T20:15:00.003+05:30

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

A lot of professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them and give talks titled “The Last Lecture.” What wisdom would they want to impart to the world if they knew it was their last chance? When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn’t have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave on “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”- wasn’t about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others and of seizing every moment. It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.

Though the lecture was initially meant for his kids, others found value in it and millions watched the lecture online. Since Randy did not want to take time off from being with his family with the limited time he had, Jeffrey Zaslow – a Wall Street Journal columnist who had attended his last lecture, wrote the story (with Randy’s inputs) that helped fuel worldwide interest in it and later on, became a best-seller. The book is an expanded version of the inspiring lecture which can all be read in a sitting. Alternatively, one can read 2/3 chapters, reflect on them and then move ahead.

Given his shortened life span at the time of publication, the book felt a little rushed. There are some chapters that are little more than a couple of paragraphs with a random anecdote that doesn’t really have anything to do with anything. Some chapters have the style of a blog entry, the book is not actually a piece of literature; it has bits and pieces of generic advice on how to live a fulfilling life (although still true, and still somewhat helpful to put it back on top of the radar). Everyone is likely to take something different from this book. Even if you’re not normally drawn to self-improvement books or memoirs, try this one. Besides being an easy read, it will give you a lot to think about on what your life’s priorities are and what you might say to the people you love if you had to leave them behind.

Your choice or theirs?

2011-04-13T20:15:00.000+05:30

“Marriage inspired by love brings two people together under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions. They are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part”

- George Bernard Shaw

I am in the midst of reading an interesting book; “The Art of Choosing” by Sheena Iyenger and these words struck me. They actually got me thinking on the success quotient of love marriages vis. a vis. arranged ones.

In arranged marriages, marital bliss is primarily gauged by the fulfillment of duties while for love marriages, the major criterion is the intensity and duration of the emotional connection between the two. Logic suggests that emotional connect has a subjective element while fulfillment of duties is more objective, thus has more chances of success. The expectation levels in arranged marriages also are normally lower. Contrary to that, chemistry quotient and understanding levels may be higher in love marriages.

Besides the basic premise, if you even think from the personality point of view, the people who opt for love marriages may be more individualistic or independent by nature as against people who opt for the arranged ones. My gut feel is that higher the independence or individualism in a person, lower is the adjustment capability which can play a major role in keeping a marriage intact.

Trust me guys, I’m not playing an advocate for arranged marriages..(I don’t advocate marriages in general – I think marriage as an institution is grossly overrated but that’s the current cynic in me so ignore please!)

I would like to know what you guys think. What has a higher success ratio? and your rationale behind it….would love to hear your point of views.

Metamorphosis

2011-03-03T21:29:00.001+05:30

Our likes and dislikes change so often! You like something and then dislike it and so on. Life should not be swayed away by likes and dislikes but well-founded on commitment - Sri Sri

How true – isn’t it? Very much applicable – especially in today’s generation. The extreme likes and dislikes that we have; it’s not even funny. People can change over a period of time – that’s understandable. As a kid you may have specific likings for a particular food item, book, music or a person and 10 years down the line – you may feel differently. With changes in age, education, lifestyle, experiences and the works, our outlook and habits can go through a sea change.
What is unfortunately creeping in in our lives is the frequency and time spans of these changes in likes/ dislikes. We buy a phone / car today – dislike it tomorrow and if we have the means, change it. We spend a fortune on a piece of furniture and suddenly 2 months down the line, we are repelled at the sight of it. When it is limited to materialistic things like cars/ furniture, it is still ok (though not for the wallet and my middle class values find such acts pretty irresponsible – but each to its own!)
What is more perilous is our likes / dislikes regarding people or their habits – when they change at the brink of a hat; it is a matter of concern. Our lifestyles today have gifted us with shorter attention spans, limited patience levels and a bag full of independence. Our likes/ dislikes have not only become stronger, but they also recur from time to time. We may fall in love with a person –he / she may have some aspects of his / her personality which you absolutely adore and some which you mildly dislike. As and when you grow closer, the former aspects are taken for granted and the latter change from mild dislikes to major irritants and can graduate to God knows what level! We may in a spurt of anger have fights, worse still - move away but what we don’t realize is that the person is still the same. One you fell in love with; your feelings may change back tomorrow and you might regret your actions.
What become crucial is our control on our minds – that we don’t get swayed by our likes and dislikes. Likes and dislikes may change from time to time; it is a natural human trait but we do have a choice – to just observe our feelings and not react.It’s not an easy job, requires an amazing amount of self-control and maturity. Even while on it, one may falter and get swayed. What separates us from the rest is that we don’t get disheartened by our failures, accept that we have faltered and move on – on the same path. That makes us men / women of true character.

Quote

2011-02-18T22:34:00.000+05:30

The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of

- Pascal

Read this in a book yesterday.. Profound na?

Have not been able to write anything off late.The reader in me has taken over the writer! (if there is any ;-)) Let's hope I do scribble something soon.

Dhobi Ghat

2011-01-24T18:57:00.003+05:30

A slice of life movie; reflective and unhurried - about 4 different lives in Mumbai. Each person is obsessed with someone and unfortunately the obsession is not reciprocated. At the bottom of the pyramid is the Dhobi -Munna (Prateik- charming), obsessed with the chic NRI investment banker on a sabbatical - Shy (MonicaDongra- sassy; well cast) who is obsessed with the reclusive artist Arun (Aamir- superb as usual), who in turn is obsessed with a housewife, Yasmin (Kriti Malhotra - endearing). There is no apparent message of the movie (or If there was one, I did not get it!) but gives a gist of the lives of these 4 people, interconnected by some way or the other.
There were several refreshing points about the movie: (In case you haven’t watched it yet, I recommend you read further only after you watch the movie as there are some spoilers ahead)
1. It is a delight to see people actually practice their profession unlike typical Boolywood fare - even when Arun is obsessed with Yasmin’s tapes, he attempts to paint her. Ditto for Munna and Shy.
2. I loved the costumes of Shy and Arun – understated, casual yet elegant.
3. Some shots were captured so realistically - viz. when Shy offers tea to Munna, her maid grimaces and gets tea for her in a coffee mug and for him in a glass.
4. The most endearing characters were the two who were from lower and lower middle class backgrounds i.e. Munna and Yasmin.
5. The tapes of Yasmin which were video letters shot for her brother Imran in UP - showcased Mumbai, her life there and her emotions pretty well. I especially loved the scene where she is writing on the sands of the beach and the words are constantly being washed away; how she writes her secrets there and the sea does not share these with anyone - Poignant.
6. The look on Muuna’s face at the climax after he gives the address to Shy - Contentment
7. The fifth character in the movie is well captured – Mumbai.

Presence of Aamir in the film has definitely helped in pulling people to the theatres but only a select audience will like the film. It’s not for the masses - they will find it vague. Nevertheless, kudos to Kiran Rao for her debut movie and looking forward to more from her stable! Would not mind seeing more of the delectable Prateik too ;-)

Nineteen minutes

2011-01-19T20:04:00.003+05:30

"What’s the difference between spending your life trying to beinvisible, or pretending to be the person you think everyone wants you to be? Either way, you’re faking."

A line which struck me when I was just completing “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picault –a startling and poignant story about the devastating aftermath of a small-town tragedy. The book asks what it means to be different in our society, who has the right to judge someone else, and whether anyone is ever really who they seem to be. It also left me scared – for the kids of today’s generation. It is ironical that as teenagers, we always want to “fit in” and as we grow up, we want to “stand out”. Both the processes no matter how different, manages to stress us out, if not tackled well…

Though this is just a book, all of us have read reports of violence by school kids both in India and abroad. Violence and shootings happen in extreme cases. Some of us may have also seen after effects of peer pressure, not fitting in, child abuse, bullying etc. which - though may not appear to be as harmful (as compared to the shootings) do leave a mark on the spirits and psyche of a child. If not dealt with effectively, the mark may alter one’s life.

The parents, teachers and extended family of the kids have to be sensitive and alert …the kids are at such an impressionable age, they need guidance/ emotional support/ listening boards…it’s a delicate scenario as teens also want to be left alone. Too much interference/ control can put them off…they stop sharing….they have to be dealt tactfully.

“Nobody is perfect” – you can start by instilling this thought process.

Mens sana in corpore sano

2010-12-29T21:01:00.002+05:30

(Your prayer must be for a sound mind in a sound body.) ~Juvenal

Have been inactive on my blog recently due to hospitalization of my Sister. She has been discharged now but the 18 day stint at the hospital (including a 1 week stint in the ICU) has left a toll on her and close family members including me. Whoever coined the sentence- “Health is Wealth” was quite a genius. It’s difficult for the patient to go from an active stage to an inactive/partially active stage where he/she is subjected to medicines, tests, procedures, surgeries and the works. Being at the mercy of doctors, nurses and attendants is no mean task. Besides, one thing that I learnt from my sisters experience is that one thing can lead to another and soon you may end up with medical complications. Learnt a lot in the past fortnight- the foremost being “Not ignoring one’s health”.
One major irritant were the visits of well-intentioned relatives, clients and friends of my sister. I normally don’t go and visit people when they are in the hospital. Not because I am not concerned about them – I am but I call up and enquire about the health and safety of the patient, politely offer my help if required and put down the phone. If any help is required, I willingly extend it. You can offer your support by various means – physical presence by the patient’s bedside, financial help, logistical help viz. transport arrangements for the patient/family, food for the patient/family, any medical requirement like blood, any other information required (doctors/nurses at home etc.) or emotional support to the patient/family. I know it’s polite to go and visit an ailing relative/friend but one does need to understand when to go, how long to be there, what to talk to the patients family and most importantly – what to talk to the patient. If you want to ask what went wrong with the patient – ask a family member and not the patient. No patient wants to go through the rigmarole of repeating the story. Also if you feel there are telltale signs / differences in how the patient looks now – PLEASE don’t directly ask the patient. Please express your concerns to the family member in private. One does not realize the impact of the statements of well-intentioned relatives/friends on the psyche of the patient. If you can help, help – don’t HINDER the process of recovery. If the patient is in ICU and is not allowed to meet anybody- there is a medical reason for that. Please respect that and don’t insist on meeting him/her. Also, if you are trying to call the patient/any family member and your call is not attended to – don’t call again and again. The person may not have attended your call as he/she may be with the patient, feeding him/her, speaking to a doctor or nurse or speaking to anyone concerned for the well-being of the patient. Instead of repeated calls, the polite thing would be to send an sms asking the family member to message when free so that you can call again.
Most of the examples above may not apply to you – but we have dealt with all such cases cited above in the past fortnight. Somewhere around you – such people do exist who do display such behavior. If possible, educate them. And most importantly, take care of your health – it is indeed your wealth. Or rather, take care of your health to enjoy your wealth!
Also, Happy New Year in advance. Raise a toast to good times and welcome year 2011 with family, good friends & good cheers. May 2011 bring sunshine to your life and embrace you with happiness, good health, love and warmth 

Social Network

2010-11-21T18:38:00.001+05:30

A wonderful script, good performances and brilliant direction; in short “A must watch movie on the origin of Facebook.” Orkut, Myspace and similar social networking sites were present before/around the time facebook “happened” but there is something else altogether about facebook. The features, the platform, the constant upgrades – all this and more makes facebook a revolution in more ways then one. Besides its impact on the social networking arena, I believe it has/ will make a significant dent in other communication platforms like mails/ mobiles/ telephones etc. Most of us now prefer wishing each other on special occasions and sending messages through fb. I don’t remember the last time I received a link to picassa albums; most of us upload our snaps on fb. It’s a great platform to remain in touch, especially with friends/family who are based out of distant locations. On one hand, the world has shrinked but it has also lead to a strange distance on the same go. YOU ARE THERE BUT CAN DECIDE TO NOT BE THERE. Why only facebook, to a certain extent it is also possible on blogs and twitter. If you want, you can be an invisible character observing people’s lives, their vacations, the books they read/recommend, the movies they like/don’t, their thought processes, their change in social status (marriage/ parenthood/ change in jobs and the works) and can connect only IF YOU WANT TO. I don’t know whether 5/10 years down the line, some of us will be so used to connecting on the virtual level that we will feel awkward around REAL people around us. The last scene of “Social network” best explains the feeling – and what was that? Watch “Social Network” to appreciate what I mean …..and yeah, take a real friend along!

Timeless Classics

2010-10-26T10:19:00.001+05:30

On an unusually quiet Sunday, was listening to few old Hindi songs. What hit me is the beauty of words created by Kaifi Azmi in “Arth”. “Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho”, “Koi yeh kaise bataye ki wo tanha kyun hain” and “Zuki zuki si nazar” ...each song hitting a chord somewhere...beautiful, soulful. Don't have words to describe the depth of the words. Unfortunately, I'm no Kaifi Azmi!

These soulful numbers are so.................timeless. The Music Industry has grown by leaps and bounds – we see a lot of technological improvement, have a plethora of singers, have loads of options for making music an integral part of your daily existence, courtesy the I pods, MP3s and I Phones of the world, yet “timeless” is not how you can describe songs of today's time. The shelf life of a music album is limited – who listens to “ Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam”, “Cash”, “Partner”, “Rang De Basanti”, “3 idiots”, “Rock On”, “Murder”, “Gangster” now? When all these albums had released, they were a rage and were well appreciated by the masses (and by some classes as well). 1/ 2 months down the line, they make way for another album.

As against that, you listen to classics like “Arth”, “Saath Saath”, “Aandhi”, “Anand”, “Mili”, “Abhimaan”, “Kabhi Kabhi” , “Ijaazat” and similar old marvels of the golden era. You can hear them again and again and..... yet again. I sound like yesterdays generation when I say that “Woh songs to kuch aur hi the...aaj kal to bas aiwe hi songs bante hain...
do din ki chandni aur phir andheri raat hain”.

We can attribute this to many reasons; the absence of “traditional Urdu learnings”of the wannable lyricists, the pace of churning out of films, the importance given to quantity over quality, money over talent, sensation over sensitivity and the works. Music has a divine quality which is being lost in the “dhantanans” of today's world, I guess. Not that I did not enjoy “Dhantanan” - it was an intelligent use of music and lyrics but was it “timeless”? Only time will tell.

The adorable Duggals!

2010-10-11T16:05:00.001+05:30

Saw “Do dooni char” this weekend- a charming comedy about a lower middle class Punjabi family starring the real life duo - “Rishi Kapoor” and “Neetu Singh”. Mr. Duggal (Rishi) plays a maths teacher who barely makes enough money to cover the expenses of his demanding kids who are embarrassed of their family’s modest lifestyle; the daughter even refuses to take a lift on her father’s trusty scooter. When Mr Duggal finally resolves to buy a car, there is genuine excitement at home, but he can’t seem to come up with the down payment. The movie touches a chord somewhere because it is so relatable. A must watch especially for the fans of the “Kapoor couple”; they are truly lovable.

This is slowly becoming a trend this year. Big budget movies with the “In” starcast are proving to be box office bummers (Dabaang being the sole exception) and the low budget movies with a low profile star cast are coming out as the surprise winners. As a classic example of the stark difference, I also watched “Aisha” this weekend. The movie is all style and glamour but lacks soul. Jane Austen will definitely turn in her grave (For the uninitiated, Aisha is an adoption of “Emma” - the classic written by Jane Austen). The entire movie revolves around parties and who should be/ should not be marrying whom – such a waste of a movie! The only thing likeable about it was the delectable Abhay Deol (poor guy - must have been cursing himself for doing the film!). And yeah, not to forget the superb styling of the entire star cast, especially Sonam Kapoor. It was classy and refreshingly different.

But is the super elite class really like that?? Is life for them just one party after another and do their most crucial decisions revolve around what to wear and whom to marry?? Even if that's the case, do we need to actually make such movies? What a waste of resources! Its high time the film industry starts giving more attention to the script of the movie then the style. Special attention to The Karan Johars and Siddharth Anands of the world. The makers of Peepli live, Udaan, Do dooni char and Tere bin laden – take a bow!

How much do you love me and who's in charge?

2010-09-28T16:33:00.003+05:30

Am in the process of reading “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Followed a reverse process this time. Had read “Committed” earlier, a sequel to “Eat, Pray and Love”- liked the author's style of writing and then picked up this bestseller. Has been a good read so far. Her writing is engagingly simple, entertaining and genuine. It helps that it is a memoir. Yesterday, I came across these beautiful lines in the book:

“There are only two questions that humans ever fought over all through history. How much do you love me and who's in charge? Everything else is somehow manageable. But the two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering.”

I found the two lines quite profound. How much do you love me?? is a question frequently posed to different people depending on the stage that you are in . As a child, you may have asked this question to your parents, as a teenager you may have posed this question to a friend/ siblings, as an adult you may have asked this to your girlfriend/boyfriend/ spouse and subsequently maybe to your kids. I find that question absolutely ridiculous. As a kid if these kind of questions are asked, it is sweet because you respond also in similar childish fashion but as you grow up, does it matter? Either you love somebody or you don't. There is no measurement bowl/ tape which can measure the intensity. Relationships/love grow with time, experiences, connect level (chemistry) and sacrifice. Besides, the relentless need to control people/ situations etc in life makes no sense. Can you control the weather? Can you control the thoughts and speech of people around you?? If you really want to control things in your life so bad; work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. If you can master your thoughts, you can live an extraordinary life. How can you do that?? Well, that's the subject matter for another post. So keep reading!!

Be firm

2010-09-27T11:30:00.005+05:30

Had read the book "The Firm" by John Grisham almost 15 years ago. Watched the movie based on the book yesterday, courtesy Zee Studio. The book/movie is about a young ambitious man with a promising future in law. About to sit his Bar exam, he is approached by a firm who makes him an offer he doesn't refuse. Seduced by the money and gifts showered on him, he is totally oblivious to the more sinister side of his company. Then, two Associates are murdered. The FBI contact him, asking him for information and suddenly his life is ruined. He has a choice - work with the FBI or stay with the Firm. Either way he will lose his life as he knows it. Mitch figures the only way out is to follow his own plan...

I guess that's true for most of us. At various cross roads in life, both professionally and personally we are forced to think/ act in directions to fall in with the "plans" or "thought processes" made by others (it may be your family/friends/colleagues...etc.) If these plans are in line with your own plans/ thought process, then its a win win situation for everyone. But what if they clash?? Many of us at various phases in our life fall in line "with the plans/thought processes" of others and later on, feel trapped..I guess the only way out should be to follow our own plans/ decisions. Might not be possible to follow always at work place for more reasons then one, but atleast personally. They may not be the best plans/ best decisions, you may make mistakes in the process, but at the end of the day, you will emerge wiser, stronger and happier :)

As they say, "You need to lead your life, not let life lead you!!"

Spirit triumphs :)))

2010-08-29T23:13:00.003+05:30

Yesterday while switching channels...came across a reality show where a handicapped participant (he had no legs) was dancing....was bowled over by his energy, his enthusiasm, his speed and best of all; his positivity. He entered with a big smile, smiled throughout and he brought in a lot of positivity on the stage. The best part is that when he was asked to request audience for votes, he said that " Please vote if you liked my performance- don’t vote looking at me..coz i dont think that I am lesser than anyone " I felt like getting up and clapping to salute his willpower and spirit!
It sounds very bookish when ppl say..."be positive" or "keep ur spirits up" or "a smile can fix anything" , "look at opportunity in adverity"...Normal reaction to such statements is like “ok...good to hear and nice to know but then what!!" But this guy was like a live example to all this and much more. I don’t think that ppl like us who are blessed with good health, decent education and jobs, love of family and friends and much more have any right to crib. What do we crib about?? That we have to work extra hrs at our work place or that we have difficult bosses?? Atleast we have a job! Look at the unemployed ppl around u. Don’t forget that the "sad job" keeps your worries away from your monthly rentals and the other necessities or luxuries of life. We crib about our difficult parents/ spouses/kids...you are lucky that you have them !! They can exasperate you sometimes, but families are the roots which provide u the necessary nourishment.
That participant helped me decide that I’m not going to crib for the inane elements in my life. (Not that I do much but sometimes the weather or the unimportant people at work/otherwise do get on my nerves sometimes BUT I will check myself). Friends /Family who r reading this blog..If you still catch me cribbing, please REMIND ME not to!!

Opinions...

2010-08-03T11:43:00.001+05:30

Yesterday I read a news report about a girl committing suicide after she had to clean toilets of her school as she had not paid her school fees. The school authorities claim that her mother was asked to clean and they don't know as to why she had to do her mothers job. I don't want to get into the details of why the school had to resort to such behaviour/ why her mother did not clean the toilets- that's the matter for another post maybe....what really got me thinking is “Was cleaning toilets such a big blow for the girl that she had to take such a drastic step?” I ended up discussing this episode with a colleague who gave a vital point that “Society acceptance is a big thing for people, especially for kids- the fact that she had to suffer humiliation and probably jibes from her peers, would have resulted into such a drastic step”

Why is opinion of society/ people important?? There are two kinds of people – people who matter/ people who don't. People who matter will know you and will love you for what you are – their love for you will not change with your achievements and failures in life. There is a separate breed of people (a big breed – I'm afraid) whose opinions change about you with change in situations in life.
Do they really matter?? You don't have to be a football of opinions of such people. You have to be true to yourself, your loved ones who are in the core circle, (the first kind)your conscience and your work. If you end up doing something which hurts yourself/ your conscience/your loved ones/your work, you need to feel sorry and change; but IGNORE the rest. GOD has given us two ears so please make use of them – take all info from one end, retain ONLY what is important and release the non vital information from the other end. Trust me- it's not that difficult; am speaking from experience. You will be much happier that ways :)

Give me Money and I will endorse anything!

2010-08-02T17:07:00.000+05:30

Bipasha Basu has started coming in a lot of fitness related ads/ brands..Reebok, Sugar free, Activ (Juice) and the works..I think its a brilliant example of celebrity association. Whoever is guiding her to sign these endorsement deals is doing a good job..Its works best both ways; for her as well as the brands she is associated with. The fact that she is a fitness freak and has her own line of fitness dvds/ gear makes her niche profile stronger...

Such kind of associations come out more genuine than the likes of Deepika Padukone/ Preity Zinta endorsing BSNL or the Chavanprashs/ tels (oils) / million other brands endorsed by Big B... It was understandable that he was doing it earlier to come out of the financial mess he was in - but whats his excuse now?? When I see such endorsements, I wonder at the wisdom level of the marketing heads/ advertising agencies of the respective brands. Such d---heads! Firstly they pay in crores to get these celebrities on board and they do not even fit the bill. Its OK for the celebrities – who does not mind an extra buck (especially when it falls into crores;-)) but what are the advertisers thinking???

“The RESULT of anger is more painful then the REASON of anger. At the end of a war, we find who is LEFT and not who is RIGHT.”

2010-07-05T16:04:00.000+05:30

Came across this aptly put sentence today. Most of us must have read statements like “Anger is one word short of danger” / 'words are more dangerous then swords” and the works....still most of us loose our temper sometime or the other...few of us loose it at the drop of a hat and others have the capacity to withhold and loose it only under the most trying circumstances...again, all of us have our phases...during a certain phase, we are at our worst and are irked by even small, insignificant things and alternatively, we are at this blissful phase when we are at our magnanimous best and are generous enough to let go of the biggest errors. Our levels of irritability also differ with different people. We give a higher margin of errors to significant few and thus don't loose our cool with them that easily and for others, even small mistakes drive us nuts!

When we loose our cool, we don't have control over our words and behaviour. We end up saying things/ behaving inappropriately, only to repent it later on. Most of us argue that we lost our cool because there was some genuine reason behind it - I often used to do that; until it was gently pointed out by somebody that there is no “Right reason” to be angry. I also did some introspection which is brought out so beautifully by this sentence which I reiterate “The RESULT of anger is more painful then the REASON of anger. At the end of a war, we find who is LEFT and not who is RIGHT.” Only to prove to others that we are right, we end up hurting people/ their sentiments, sometimes we even loose out on a relationship. Besides, it is harmful physically as well...if you have noticed, when we are angry, our breaths are faster, we perspire more, our whole body is tensed.....these are the most visible impacts..and imagine what impact it must be doing internally....

Sometimes, we suppress anger but bottled up anger also takes different forms which may not be that good for us....there are different ways to deal with anger. Google search/ books/workshops can help you but at the end of the day...it all depends on us. How we execute...how we deal with actual situations – may take some practice but over a period of time, with experienced wisdom and maturity, we all can act more responsibly.

Amen!

Where has their childhood gone?

2010-05-31T14:52:00.007+05:30

Summer vacations brought in a wave of reality dance shows for kids...It's a great feeling to see the talent of Kids ..at such a young age, they have the moves, the grace, the poise and most importantly the confidence to show their dancing abilities and boy.. r they good!! Brings a smile on the face and a warmth in the heart after any tiring day..Classical, semi classical, bollywood, jazz, hip hop, salsa, folk - they can do it all and in style :)

There is one unnerving feeling though - the pressures / stress of competing on a national scale at such a young age ..At their age, we used to spend our summer holidays with our friends and families; reading, playing, family trips and the works.Forget vacations, even on a daily basis, we atleast spent an hour playing a sport with other kids; what a time it was. The kids today don't have the luxury..their parents cannot afford the time / resources to go on trips. ....the sports which most kids practice nowadays is mostly restricted to their playstations or farmville in facebook. Their idea of a weekend is to visit the nearest mall, summer vacations are spent in summer camps..No wonder they are so restless.

What can be done though? The lifestyles of people has changed and with them, the lifestyle of kids too. But it's upto the parents too to balance it out - or is it?? It's easy for me to comment - I have no kids yet but what do the parents feel??

Review of few Oscar Nominated movies

2010-05-10T15:56:00.007+05:30

Avatar- almost all must have watched it so need I say more?? A must watch no doubt..loved the concept - great vision by the director. (4.5 stars)

Precious - Was a good movie and some great performances..The best supporting actress won by Monique was well deserved. The movie is about an obese teenager who is pregnant for the second time and how she deals with the aftereffects...it brings out some dark secrets of her family. Though it was a brave film, it left me with a bad taste..I would not like to watch it again. Recommended viewing only if you are ok with movies that reveal the ugly side of human nature (3 stars)

Up - A cute animation film about an oldie who goes on an adventure trip to keep up to the promise he gave his dead wife. watchable cute movie. (3 stars)

Up in the Air- The adorable George Clooney plays this fast moving business executive who is almost always "Up in the air" - travelling from one city to another to perform the unpleasant task of laying off people. The movie touches upon more issues than one. The after effects of travel on your personal life, the unpleasant task of laying off people, family bonding or the lack of it, the effect of too much reliance on technology...and the works. Definitely worth a watch. (3.5 stars)

The Blind Side- Undoubtedly the best among the lot...my views may be biased as I love watching sport based movies but brilliant nevertheless. It is about an upperclass American lady who takes in a black teenager in her house and over the period of time he becomes a part of her family. With the family's encouragement and support, he flourises into a great football player. A must watch. (4.5 stars)

An Education - About a smart and gifted 16 year old school girl who is exposed to the tempations of a sophisticated world of wealth by an older yet charming gentelman. Okish but with a good moral for "naive young girls" (3 stars)

Crazy Heart - An amazing performance by Jeff Bridges as the country singer facing a lull in his career due to his alcoholic ways..Lovely songs, good music and good performances..A well deserved oscar winner for the best actor. (3.5 stars)

Inglorious Bastards - Shosanna, a resourceful young movie theater owner fighting to stay one step ahead of the Nazis in occupied France, plots her revenge on the man responsible for her family's death, the flamboyant Col. Hans Landa. Her plan soon draws the attention of Lt. Aldo Raine, who leads a group of Jewish soldiers known as the Basterds in a savage campaign behind enemy lines. Funny in parts, a good watch.
(3 stars)

Fantastic Mr. Fox - The stylish Mr. Fox has given up is life of theft to settle down as a family man with a mundane job. Bored with his dull life, he plans a chicken heist and has to face the wrath of his neighbours...good animation flick. (3 stars)

Invictus - Have already posted about the movie. A must watch. (3.5 stars)

The Princess and the Frog - An animation movie inspired by the folkore of the princess who kissed a frog who transormed into a prince with a lot of added histronics. An ok movie. (2.5 stars)

Sherlock Holmes - Good plot, great performances and definetely a must watch for all Sherlock holmes fans. Robert dawney Jr. was the best. (3 stars)

Julie and Julia - Meryl streep plays "Julia" a bored housewife who with her husband's encouragement joins cooking classes and writes her own french cookbook. Inspired by her, a closet writer "Julie" who is also a bored service girl writes a blog on her experiences of cooking Julia's recipes. The makers of the movie have creatively combined the two books and experiences, making it a delightful watch. Merly Streep certainly deserved an oscar for this one which unfortunately was grabbed by Bullock. Watching the gourmet food was also a delight. (4 stars)

So overall - the year was good for Oscors.. Did not watch Hurt locker as am not too fond of watching war movies.

Happy watching !!

(P.s.: the reviews are personal choices of the writer and you are welcome to have your opinion posted as comments)

Smile :)

2010-04-23T20:22:00.004+05:30

I was waiting in the reception of an office today morning for about 1.5 hrs!! I was there to meet somebody..Was I irritated- yes..it is not polite to make someone wait for that long especially if you have fixed the meeting but this post is not about that.

While I waited, I did not have anything to read (it is a good idea to keep some newspapers / magazines at the reception) so I spent that time observing people who entered the office. It was quite interesting to see the variety of ways in which ppl walk in to their office to start a work day. Some walked in quite casually, interested in checking out the people sitting at the reception (no offense- they may be looking for someone whom they r expecting), some walked in slowly with morose expressions with - God another work day- when will it end??? written all over them..some rushed in, eager maybe to punch the cards / late for a meeting- could not tell, some in groups chatting while going in..some smiling/ some frowning and the rest expressionless. What bothered me was that very few wished the security guy and the receptionist. Come on!! U see these faces every day- is it not civic to wish these people? It makes them feel good. Also, it makes you kick start your work day on a good note.

Imagine two scenarios- one when u quietly come to ur workstation without greeting anybody/ smiling at anyone and start ur work day and the other where u have a smile for any colleague you pass and wish them with a cheery good morning if possible. Just try that out on two consecutive work days and how different u feel. You may not be buddies with them but that's ok- who cares? you don't have to share a coffee or lunch with them- just a smile.

Smiling is free. How good you feel when you see a warm smile ? Priceless

Oscars

2010-03-09T16:21:00.003+05:30

Watched Oscars last night.Fell in love with the stage...it was so fabulous! the size..the elegance..would be so exciting (and nerve wrecking) to plan such an event!

Though I have not yet watched the Hurt Locker and Precious- but what left me impressed was the fact that though they were not made by very famous directors/did not have very famous actors..they managed to make quite a stir at the prestigious event. Should watch them soon!!

The timing was such (diff of 1 day) that could not help but compare it with Filmfare and was dissapointed. We have got such a long way to go..The compering, the stage, the acceptance speeches, the movies, the winners, the management of the entire event...everything was superb.

Invictus

2010-03-03T19:24:00.002+05:30

Saw "Invictus" on Holi - The film tells the inspiring true story of how Nelson Mandela joined forces with the captain of South Africa's rugby team to help unite their country. Newly elected President Mandela knows his nation remains racially and economically divided in the wake of apartheid. Believing he can bring his people together through the universal language of sport, Mandela rallies South Africa's rugby team as they make their historic run to the 1995 Rugby World Cup Championship match.

Directed by Clint Eastwood, with superb performances by Morgan Freeman who plays Mandela and Matt Damon plays a subtle Francois (captain- rugby team). Well made sports based movies are gripping ..The passion you feel amongst the players, the audience, family and friends cannot be described in words...I am not much of a sports person, i.e. I don't enjoy playing / watching sports but oddly enough- sports based movies really excite me. Remembering the Titans, Raging Bull, Jerry Maguire...the list is endless. And can understand the passion/ agony which the fans feel when their team wins/ losses...

What's great about Invictus is through sports, how the President tries to bridgde the racial gap..and comes out victorious at the end ...Do watch it and tell me how you like it..

Peaceful Warrior

2010-01-18T18:27:00.003+05:30

Watched "Peaceful Warrior"..an amazing movie about a successful and cocky gymnast, Dan who meets with an accident, thus being forced to loose out on the only thing he wants to do...grab a gold at Olympics. He meets an old man (Socrates) at a service station and something about him draws Dan to him..If I write more about the movie, I will spoil the experience for you...but just take my word and watch it...and you will not regret it :)

P.S. : Do tell me how you liked it!

You have a choice

2009-11-26T18:18:00.003+05:30

Telephones, Mobiles, Blackberry,Laptops,Palmptops, Emails, blogs, Sms's , Twitter, Social networking sites like Orkut, facebook etc...are great technological inventions and have helped make the world a smaller place. But how much is too much. If your mobile phone crashes down or is lost, your life crashes down- how healthy is that??

I just came to know about a lady who takes her cellphone when she goes for a shower and once while answering that, the phone slipped and crashed -her world came crashing down!! It is just one example - but I'm sure there are many who suffer from the same disease- becoming overtly dependent on technology. We have complicated our lives ourselves. It is ironical that Im expressing this viewpoint in a blog but the point is that I HAVE A CHOICE WHEN I WRITE A NEW POST IN MY BLOG...like I have the choice to answer a phone call, answer an email / sms, accept a friend request on facebook and so on. The feverishness to be always in touch with the world around us leads to stress which can be quite killing...

Chill, relax, take it easy...spend some time with yourself or the loved ones around you. Don't become so obsessed with attending phone calls/ mails/ social networking sites that you ignore the people who are sitting next to you. Most importantly the time saved in not reading junk mail/ doing small talk on the phone can be utilised for your own self...a 30 minute walk will reap more rewards..Walk while you talk is a fantastic marketing campaign but that does not mean you need to always talk when you walk ...you can walk with yourself too.

P.S. I Love you

2009-10-04T16:35:00.000+05:30

Watched this cute movie yesterday. It’s a poignant love story about a widow who receives letters from her dead husband from time to time and her whole journey about how she deals with the loss of her husband. The fact that somebody can draw strength from a person who is no more is brought about quite beautifully in the movie.
The movie but just got me thinking. How unnerving it can be to receive letters from somebody who is not alive. It can start off with an eerie feeling thinking that somebody has played a practical joke on you. Once you realize that’s not the case, then the difficulty of accepting the situation and then the entire process of reading the letters and processing them.
I have gone through the difficult process of dealing with my parent’s clothes and possessions after they passed away. It’s a great leveler when you realize that the clothes, the possessions, the degree certificates, the medals etc don’t matter much. What matters are the memories … Create your memory with your loved ones today …and everyday. At the end of the day, those will be all that matter.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze

2009-09-16T12:54:00.002+05:30

Read about the death of Patrick Swayze today. Felt a pang..I've loved him in "Dirty Dancing" - I love to dance and enjoy watching movies with dance based themes. Dirty dancing, Shall we dance, Dance with me, Grease...and the list goes on. "Dirty dancing" was definitely a cult movie and the movements of Patrick Swayze were amazing. Usually movements of male dancers appear quite feminine; but not Patrick Swayze. He has given the term "masculine grace" a new definition.

He was suffering from cancer. In former days, people hardly heard of diseases like cancer. Once in a blue moon, you would come across/ hear about somebody who is suffering from cancer. There were people who did not even share the fact that they had Cancer with their friends/ family. Nowadays it has become quite common. In almost all families, you would know of at least one relative/ friend who is suffering from cancer. Every other day you would read about celebrities who suffer from Cancer. Why not, considering our lifestyles! So many products available in the market today are carcinogenic. The term carcinogen refers to any substance, radionuclide or radiation that is an agent directly involved in the promotion of cancer or in the increase of its propagation. Deodorant, a bar of soap, toothpaste, hair spray, detergent, cosmetics, household cleaning products, food products, cookware... All of these products can contain carcinogens and many do. While each product may only contain a small amount of cancer-causing agents, most of us use these products every day. So what can we do? We can’t stop using soaps and detergents. Making an informed, healthy choice starts by becoming aware of these products and choosing to use products that are most natural. We all know that lipsticks contain lead which can be carcinogenic – then can’t we minimize the use? We see kids wearing make up which can be pretty appalling. Young girls love to use make up but is it necessary to indulge them all the time? I don’t remember when was the last time I applied lipstick and it definitely does not make me feel/ look less pretty. I read somewhere that the worst five foods to look out for i.e. which contains the maximum number of toxins are hot dogs, processed meat and bacon, French fries, doughnuts, cookies and biscuits. Unfortunately, these are all foods that are very commonly consumed, especially by children. It’s ironic that parents use French fries and cookies as treats for their kids if they behave well or complete their tasks. These kids when grow up, find it perfectly natural to reach out for similar, more abusive products (smoking/ alcohol etc.) for self gratification.

Leading simpler lives, getting back to nature, detoxification- all these I hope are not just buzz words which we hear/ practice from time to time but which we imbibe as a part of our daily lifestyle. We will then hopefully see / read about fewer Patrick Swayze’s passing away- Amen!

Happinezz…

2009-08-22T20:28:00.000+05:30

Just finished reading “The Winner stands alone” by Paulo Coelho. It’s a book about few people from the glamour industry – films, fashion and the super rich who are at the Cannes festival. Would not like to dwell much on the book (I did not like the end) but the commonality in the stories of all these people got me thinking. They were on the way up or were already on the top with money, power and fame around them but none of them were happy. Some of them were alone, some insecure, some disillusioned and others plain unhappy. The constant need to be in the public glare, false PR stories, the competition, the easy access to alcohol and drugs can drive people nuts. I could correlate the book with a movie I saw recently – “A shortcut to happiness” where the protagonist sells his soul to be a successful writer. He becomes successful alright- his books become bestsellers, win awards, he gets money, fame and everything else but as a man without a soul, he is an unhappy man.
The complexity is that people strive to find happiness outside them sometimes in materialistic pursuits. These pleasures can only give momentary happiness. Buying a car, a house, going for a holiday etc makes one feel joyful or successful for a day or two (sometimes longer) but can that bliss last throughout one’s life?
One can find happiness by being happy. It’s as simple as that. No amount of money, fame or power is going to give you lasting happiness. The joy is within you and nobody or nothing can take that smile away from you.

Demons of the past

2009-07-09T17:39:00.000+05:30

Just finished reading “Kite Runner” the 2nd time. I had read it three years back and had loved the book. Recently saw the movie adaptation of the novel and thus felt like reading it again. The funny thing about reading a book after watching a movie adaptation is that you imagine the characters with the pictorial representation of the actors who have performed the role in the movie. It can get strange when the description in the book does not match the actor ;-)

Like father, like son. Both the characters i.e. Baba and Amir had some demons of the past to deal with. Mistakes they had made, shameful enough not to be shared with loved ones. They lived with the guilt throughout the lives (at least Baba did). They also had to face grueling times (as a consequence of their Karma- I guess). But the best thing was that both ended up doing benevolent task(s) so that they could lessen their guilt.

Any person who feels guilty is because he has a conscience. That conscience motivates him to change- do a good deed, be a better person. I am not justifying his mistakes but at least he has taken a step to change for the better. It is better to have done wrong and make it up by doing a good deed rather than doing wrong and not feeling any guilt whatsoever. That’s inhuman and unforgivable.

If you are into reading and haven’t read “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini yet- I suggest you finally do!

Three of my.....

2009-06-16T16:26:00.000+05:30

A) Three Books I can read over and over:

1. Gone with the wind
2. Pride and Prejudice
3. Shantaram

B) Three Movies I can watch over and over:

1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
2. Pretty Woman
3. Saaransh

C) Three Places where I have lived:

1. Bombay
2. Vadodara
3. Vapi

D) Three TV Shows I love to watch:

1. Friends
2. Jhalak Dikhla Jaa
3. MTV Roadies

E) Three places I have been on vacation:

1. Mauritius
2. Goa
3. Darjeeling

F) Three websites I visit regularly:

1. http://facebook.com
2. http://gmail.com
3. http://rediffmail.com

G) Three of my Favourite foods (In no particular order):

1. Chocolate
2. Panipuri
3. Pizza

H) Three places I want to visit:

1. Paris
2. Kashmir
3. Italy

The Luck factor

2009-06-08T15:41:00.000+05:30

Just finished reading “The Zoya factor” this weekend. Was a good breezy read. The book was about a client servicing advertising executive, Zoya who was born at the very moment India won the World Cup back in 1983. The Indian cricket team is baffled as having breakfast with her is followed by victories on the field and when not eating with her results in defeat. The man she kisses before a match eventually goes on to win the “man of the match”. In between accepting the newness of being treated like a Goddess, Zoya is fighting to keep her emotions in check whenever she is around Nikhil Khoda, the captain of the Indian Cricket team. The fact that he does not believe in luck, does not help matters!

What got me thinking is the importance given to “the luck factor”. Many a times we see some trend and accept it as a lucky factor and follow it with religious fervor. It is noticed mostly in cricket. If India loses a wicket whenever a certain Mr. X goes to the loo, his friends/ family insists he does not get up from the sofa throughout the innings. Thank god for twenty twenty cricket, otherwise you can imagine the situation! Cases of wearing a certain dress / colour during exams/ interviews/ important client meeting just because it has been lucky are also common. I remember a time when I entered a friend’s house in the final over of the twenty twenty world cup final. The situation was tense. Everyone was praying and looking at the tv screen with anticipation. I kicked myself for entering at such a tense moment. Thankfully India won! A friend mentioned I was lucky- I’m not too sure about that – I was just thinking, “What if we had lost” – I would have been killed – if not by them at least by my guilt!!!

I’m not sure whether the theory of luck exists. I am not accepting it, nor denying it. Would love to know what you think about it…

20 random things about me

2009-05-20T11:25:00.001+05:30

1. I love to read fiction
2. I LOVE to watch movies- all kinds except violent ones. Also like to discuss about them with friends and colleagues
3. I need to spend some time on my own from time to time. Need my own space
4. I am an early sleeper and an early riser. 10 p.m. and my eyes start drooping
5. I like kids – don’t LOVE them but an automatic smile always appears on my face whenever I see kids, especially below 3 yrs
6. I don’t like unpleasantness anywhere – whether at work or otherwise.
7. I love chocolates (in any form viz. cake, biscuits, shakes, ice-cream or plain old chocolate). I love chocolate- period 
8. I am a casual dresser – don’t like to spend a lot of time / money on clothes or accessories
9. I don’t shop until absolutely required (rare for a girl- I know!)
10. I procrastinate – often.
11. I love to dance on hindi numbers
12. I prefer chapattis to rice- any day except with Rajma
13. I cannot sleep without a pillow or a mattress.
14. When on my own, I never listen to English music/ watch sports.
15. I am a teetotaler and a non smoker
16. When at home, I prefer to make my own tea
17. I follow instructions and rarely break rules
18. I cannot have raw onions, karela or brinjal.
19. I couldn’t swallow a medicine till I was 27. (Embarrassing but true)
20. I am miserable with finance/ investments (Wonder how I cleared CA foundation – that too with a rank!)

“I” Syndrome

2009-04-27T15:50:00.000+05:30

I have written the article – I have done this task – I have selected the dress – I have cooked this dish- it was My idea- the list goes on an on.

What is it about I- Me – Myself? Is it ego which wants the world to know that I am so and so, I have done this and this in my life or that I have earned xyz amount of money. Even for charitable causes, some don’t stop; unabashedly we proclaim to the world that I have done this for that organization. Is humility dead from today’s world?

Unfortunately the ways of the corporate world are such that it becomes mandatory for all to tom tom their achievements. If you have put in 70%, show it as 100% and see yourself grow in the corporate space. The minute you take the reverse path i.e. working 100% and not speaking about it, you will see your growth getting affected. Since most of us spend 2/3 of their lives (some – even more) at their work place, the “me” attitude seeks in the personal sphere too. I don’t know how you find such behaviour– it puts me off. I somehow cannot relate with people who are full of themselves and can not see life beyond them and their glories.

Try doing things and not talking about it – the satisfaction may be greater. What say?

Growing out..

2009-04-15T11:07:00.000+05:30

At different stages in our lives we are passionate about/ attached to different things in life ..some restaurant that we regularly visit/ a cuisine we are particularly fond of/ the jeans you cannot get out of / the author whose books you find unputdownable/ the shop which you end up going every time you need to buy a dress. Then there comes a huge gap…the lull time where for some reason or the other you loose your touch with the same….ages after when you revisit …you find no charm in the same places which were your favorite haunts at some point of time and you wonder how was I so passionate about this?? In a nutshell, we grow out of it.

Change is the rude fact of life. The only thing permanent is change. One grows out of things, places, food choices, books and sometimes people too…

Accept the change gracefully and move on :-)

Chill

2009-03-13T11:03:00.000+05:30

An office colleague just mentioned today that she is getting married and is taking some time off b4 that to chill. Almost 4-5 months - can you beat that? Im so jeaolous ;-)

I don't remember the last time I have taken some time off to just chill. Normally leaves are taken when you have an agenda. Attending a marriage/ visiting inlaws during Diwali and the works.. but there is no time to chill / just be during those times...i dont remember the last vacation i had (hope hubby dear is reading this ;-))

Its essential. To take time off from time to time - just chill out without any agenda in mind. To reflect/ introspect/ spend time with loved ones/ read and read and ....read some more :-)

Sounds heavenly doesn't it?? Amen!!

Bucket List

2009-02-26T16:55:00.002+05:30

Saw this beautiful movie some time back – superb acting by Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson who play two oldies who are in their last stage of cancer. The movie beautifully brings out their friendship which helps them deal with their short but trying time. They make a list of things to do before they hit the bucket and shows how they go about accomplishing them.

Just made me think – why do we have to wait for a terminal disease to make a bucket list? We can make one in perfect health. Lets face it- somewhere down the line we are going to hit the bucket and not all of us will be given the ultimatum in advance. We may just poop down some day and then what those desires go down the drain?

I want to learn how to play the guitar, I wish I could go to Paris, I want to go bungee jumping, I want to write my own book, I want to open my own dance school- that and much more. Many of us have such secret/ not so secret desires but get so caught up in our everyday lives that they remain just that- desires.

So what are you waiting for – Go for it today and see how beautiful your journey becomes.

Bucket List

2009-02-26T16:55:00.001+05:30

Agree to disagree

2009-02-11T17:58:00.000+05:30

It is better to loose your ego to the one you love than to loose the one you love – these words by John Keats appear simple but on deeper thought are quite profound.

Many of us do that – knowingly or unknowingly. Most of us suffer from the “I am right” syndrome where we don’t have any room for accepting / acknowledging opinions of others. What we fail to understand is that two people can have different opinions and can also be “right” at the same time.

Many relationships/ marriages face bitter endings because of one-upmanship. People can have different point of views and can still coexist. Peacefully! Just try by “agreeing to disagree” and see/ feel the difference.

Serendipity

2009-01-28T11:21:00.000+05:30

Kismat – Coincidence – Karma –Fate are some of the words which came across when I clicked at finding the synonym for Serendipity.

“Serendipity”- a romantic flick starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale – two strangers who meet accidentally and leave it on “fate” or “Kismet” to decide whether they were meant to be together or not. Wanting to be fair to those who haven’t seen the movie yet – I won’t write what happens next. What kept me wondering is does that happen in real life?

I think yes. Some of us have found their special someone – some are on the quest and some have not joined the queue yet (the luckiest by far ;-))..but surely, in a country where we have numbers on our side and are spoilt for choice, (the kind of variety of girls and guys that exist at a point of time are not less!!). How come we end up with that “one” person. Though we are “friendly” or friends with so many, our heart beats only for that “one” person. (For the confused few, there can be more than one too )

Why restrict ourselves to love – “fate” determines a lot of things viz our birthplace/ our parents/ our profession/ our abodes/ our deaths etc…etc. In some cases, you must have observed that we try our damnedest best to do something and yet, things don’t work out the way we wanted them to be. The efforts were there, the skills were there; what was missing was the “fate”. Some of us at such times curse our “luck” and blame “GOD”/ any other human being/ organisation in the process – Why?. That was how it was meant to be – so just learn from it and move on. Sounds easy to say / read; let me confess its quite difficult to implement it (Im still learning) – but I believe it’s the best way. Just Let go…

Creative writing workshop

2009-01-12T16:33:00.000+05:30

I just finished a 5 day creative writing workshop by Ms. Soniya Chopra, a free lancer film critic. It was a great experience; good fun and great learning. My respect for film critics and scriptwriters has definitely gone up now!

I was joined by Jyoti (Insurance professional), Samir (Civil Engineer) and Kunal (Music critic) in my quest for learning how to write film reviews, book reviews and scripts.

During the first three days we were a nice bunch of obedient students – listening to every word that Soniya said. As days passed by and territory became more familiar, the last class was a complete riot; the entertainment quotient being provided by the “sarcastic” Kunal. He claimed he was a shy kid which all of us found it difficult to believe, considering the verbal diarrhea which refused to stop ;-). As Soniya nicely summed it up, all of us were very different; leading to an “interesting dialogue” every time we discussed anything under the sun including films.

Will miss Soniyas words of wisdom, feedback and her generous dose of chocolates ;-). Will miss my batch mates (Kunal- you too!) but what will stay on are the learning’s … I will hopefully write better and shorter now ;-)

Amen!

Book review of "Sri Sri as I know him"

2009-01-12T16:32:00.000+05:30

Sri Sri as I know him

A collection of personal experiences and anecdotes; compiled and edited by Dinesh Kashikar and Sharmila Murarka

“Life without Wisdom is incomplete

Wisdom that doesn’t give rise to feeling is incomplete

Feelings that doesn’t translate into action is incomplete

Action that doesn’t give rise to fullness is incomplete

For; fulfillment is – returning to the Self.”

- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

The back cover of “Sri Sri as I know him” had these beautiful words which motivated me to buy the book, besides the fact that I’m absolutely devoted to Guruji (as aptly addressed by millions of people – his real name being Sri Sri Ravi Shankar). I wanted to get a feel of what others had to share about HIM. (Caps is sometimes used to address GOD but for millions like us, HE is GOD – read the book and you may realize why!)

What makes the book an interesting read? 56 individuals from various ages, classes, religions, countries and professions have shared their personal experiences with Guruji. Some are written in a doctorate fashion (mentioning plain facts); while some are beautiful pieces which move you to tears. Though the experiences of all were different, one factor came out strongly; “Life was an effort before meeting Guruji; now it is effortless.”

What I truly appreciate about Guruji is that HE does not keep us dependent upon HIM. HE empowers us to solve the riddles in life by raising our awareness to a level where we can see the truth for ourselves. I personally did not believe in Idol worship – I do my Puja every day, more because my mother in law expects me to then “I” want to do it. Though I had benefited immensely by “Art of Living” – I did not think that it was important to meet Guruji. (As it was against my idol worship ideology). I know HE is around all of us – that was enough. I have seen him thrice in Mumbai but haven’t met HIM. (It is not that important – I felt). But after reading this book, I really want to meet HIM and I have this feeling, I will.

Ghajini

2009-01-12T16:30:00.000+05:30

Violent, but endearing

3 stars

There are two extremes to “Ghajini” – the violent revenge act and the cute love story – both brought out with equal élan by the real star of the film – Aamir Khan.

Sanjay Singhania, (Aamir Khan – brilliant) a rich tycoon who is loved by his entourage of employees (wonder who goes out with such a big one!!) falls in love with a fast talking struggling actress Kalpana (Asin – Simple and charming). After an endearing love story where he woos her like an ordinary struggler, she is brutally murdered by a goon “Ghajini”(Pradip Rawat – disappointing).

Cut 2- Revenge act by Sanjay: A short term memory loss patient who does not recall anything beyond fifteen minutes goes on a killing spree to reach his end goal – to find “Ghajini” and kill him. A psychiatric student Sunita (Jiah Khan – ok) helps him in his journey.

The movie is a good one time watch; the length could have been shortened by 2 less songs and 2 less elongated fight sequences. What helps one survive the “South Indianish” violence is the heart warming love angle. The star of the movie is undoubtedly Aamir Khan who plays both the extremes with equal ease and emerges a winner in both. Watch it for Aamir Khan – if not for anything else.

New Year bliss

2009-01-07T12:04:00.000+05:30

New Years Eve: comes every year with hundred ways to celebrate them.

While I was in school, they were mostly spent at home, watching interesting programs on TV. At least it felt so at that time ;-) As I grew up, they were spent at friends houses - all of us dressed in our best party gear; checking out each others clothes and dance steps and enjoying the freedom with abandon (away from home at 12.00 p.m was not a regular affair those days) As we graduated and post graduated, the party venues shifted to disco theques or five star hotels dancing with thousands of strangers and spent in drunken (so called) bliss. As the crowds of these venues and the entry fees hit the roofs, our venues shifted to restaurants…having special / intimate dinners with friends and family, not before waiting for hours for clearing of the traffic jams…

How was it this year?? Quite differently idyllic; spent at the Bangalore Art of Living Ashram. Sang melodious bhajans and chanted a blissful Guru Puja at the strike of 12. All spent in silence, surrounded by thousands of dazzling smiles and grateful hearts …was divinely blissful.

Happy New Year to all of u!! Wishing you a peaceful 2009 filled with good health, knowledge, happiness, warmth and cheer :-)

Have zero expectations

2008-12-24T18:01:00.001+05:30

I know sounds surreal...it is difficult not to have expectations at all...sounds good on paper but difficult to implement..I know it is, but not impossible. A funny incident happened yesterday which made me write this..

We were invited by a muslim neighbour for his sons reception. My husband and his good friend made plans to attend it (hard core non vegetaranians) and checked with us i.e. their wives (hard core veggies) whether we want to get something cooked - we declined saying that we will eat whatever veg is served there (the cook also needs a break from time to time)

We reach there and after finishing with the formalities of wishing the bride and groom, we went straigt to the buffet spread...an impressive spread indeed...Punjabi, South Indian, Gujarati, Oriental, Mexican, Italian...all of it Vegetarian ;-)

The mystery was solved when we got to know that the ground was owned by a Gujarati and he did not allow non veg to be served there.

I cant even attempt to explain the looks of complete horror on my hubbys face ...it was priceless :-) A kodak moment which I will cherish forever!

We poor vegetarians had a gr8 time hogging while our better halves managed to survive...

Yes Man; Yes” is the New No!

2008-12-22T10:09:00.000+05:30

Saw “Yes Man” on Saturday - loved it. Jim Carrey plays a depressed guy who says no to everything and everybody; distancing himself from his wife (an ex now), friends, boss and more importantly to his life in the process… till he attends a life altering “Yes” session. Life takes an interesting turn after that – the Yes attitude wins him a girlfriend, a pleased boss, promotions at work place, adventurous holidays, interesting hobbies, amusing experiences, many friends ….in short, a happy happy life.

Saying yes is so simple and yet we make it so complicated. There is this wonderful course by Art of Living called Yes+ for 18- 30 year olds. It has done wonders to the lives of so many people including mine. I have discovered so many facets to my personality which I never knew existed. To know more, log on to http://www.yesplus.org/

Say Yes to that course and see how your life changes :-)

Rab Ne Bana di Jodi

2008-12-15T19:45:00.000+05:30

Rab Ne Bana di Jodi...Saw it yesterday…I am a sucker for romantic movies so I loved it but surprisingly, so did my hubby…I came to office today and discovered that all my office colleagues hated it! Infact the movie has had mixed reviews…reasons ranging from their finding it illogical, unbelievable, not liking the “Raj” character, not worthy of “Aditya Chopra finding it a drag…etc….etc…Why did I like it??

I loved the concept – it was a “different” love story (I know you have heard it a zillion times!)…I loved the simplistic way of showing love by both etc…etc….its refreshing to see a husband blushing when his wife gives him his tiffin and the wife getting overjoyed when the hubby “allows” her to take a dance class…I know it sounds filmy but I think it is more realistic then the love stories between two gorgeous people …lets face it guys….what % of couples have both husband and wife looking gr8! – I loved the imperfection in the marriage…the beautiful, vibrant guy marrying (due to circumstances) an ordinary looking, simple and shy guy. The girl does not love the guy but plays the dutiful wife and with time, the totally smitten guy wins her over…how…Just by his love….I know its filmy but so what…?? It’s a film at the end of the day. If u want to see reality, watch discovery channel / documentaries
Some things are beyond our control – Just let them be…one cant control everything …why even try…
The girl is shown as a total confused character….well I hate to say this but MOST girls are ! (Girls…don’t kill me plz but I really believe we r confused most of the time when we r in love ...there are certain exceptions but they are just that…exceptions!)
I believe there is a “Suri” and a “Raj” in all of us – we have to bring out the Suri/ Raj within us depending on circumstances
I loved the sequence where the girl bashes up “Tiny” – It was over the top nevertheless I loved it …I think all we girls can bash any “Tiny” we want – don’t hesitate…if he deserves it, just do it!
Save the best for the last…the credits…loved them…very cute!

Loving somebody is so simple, yet we make it so complicated – Just keep loving and the world will be yours :-)

Fear of the Unknown

2008-12-08T21:17:00.001+05:30

Fear of the Unknown

I was speaking to an acquaintance who is very successful at his work, has 58 years of experience behind him and manages to have an equally fulfilling social and spiritual life. His friends / colleagues / family have been trying to convince him to start up something of his own. Till now he has not done so – why? I asked him – “Fear of the Unknown – I guess” he said.

All of us go through that phase in life – sometimes daily too. I too have gone through that – fear of speaking in public, fear of sharing my viewpoint, fear of dogs, fear of loosing a loved one are some of the fears that I had – not any more.

Until and unless you experience the unknown, you will always have that fear. Atleast go through the experience once to decide whether the fear was justified or not? You never know, you might even enjoy it! Until and unless you have tried it, you can never be sure. What stops you from trying? Ridicule? Fear of failure? Its just a mind block – don’t let your mind control you – It is YOUR mind so YOU CAN CONTROL IT!! What’s the worst that can happen…you will only be richer by experience :-)

Peace Walk at Gateway

2008-12-04T14:38:00.001+05:30

Peace Walk at Gateway

Event - Peace Walk at Gateway of India, Mumbai

Time- 6 PM, December 3, 2008 (A week after the terror attacks)

Cause – Protest against politicians/ terrorists and homage to the victims

Result – Mass Outpouring of Grief and Anger

Learnings – Lots!!

Determination – Workload at office, Traffic Jams, Taxi drivers refusal to take you to the gateway, warnings of stampede, attacks at the peace rally, jammed cell networks, friends fizzling out of the deal last minute due to workload/ill health etc, slow moving cars/buses, uncomfortable shoes – all this did not deter me/ thousands of fellow Mumbaikars to be a part of the Gathering at Gateway. Why? Bcoz all of us chosed to be there. The terrorists can kill us but nor our spirit
Friendship – 4 of my friends had promised they would be there. At 4 pm, I called them up and slowly and steadily all of them fizzled out – some were unwell (genuinely unwell), some had meetings/were overloaded with work/ somebody had family commitments – so end result – I knew that I will be there alone. Should I go? I asked myself – My mind said no and my heart said yes. I, like million other fellow Indians follow my heart more than my mind so I decided I would be there irrespective. When I got into the train at Bandra, I made 6-7 friends and decided to tag along with them. When I reached Regal with my new found friends, I got a call from an AOL friend Manav (whom I had not met since the last 2 months bcoz he was not coming for his follow ups) – He sounded agitated as he was supposed to meet his father at Regal and he could not find him in the chaos and his fathers phone was coming unreachable. Again I thought – should I go there and help him out or just ignore and carry on with my new found friends – again my heart ruled and I asked them to carry on and looked for Manav. I found Manav and we together finally managed to FIND his Dad who was even in a more agitated state than Manav. Poor Uncle – he was waiting since 5. 30 at Regal for his son who was caught in a traffic jam and he found him at last at 6.30 – both over excited souls who are just great talkers but cannot listen to each other J. Im so glad I stuck to Manav coz he is the pinnacle of energy. I would have been just an audience to the entire peace walk if not for Manav. Both of us (supported by hundreds of others) shouted “Vande Mantaram” at the top of our voices and did that from time to time for the next 2 hours. End Result – Sore throat but a happy soul. Manav should be a politician – I told him so. He is a well intentioned, peace loving person with loads of energy and has an extremely likable quality about him. We need leaders like him – I told him. He agreed but he was not sure because his family might not approve / friends might laugh – Lets hope good sense prevails and he takes my advice. I really feel he can make a difference.
Decency – It was a mass gathering of thousands of people from all classes and all were walking side by side. I did not experience a single incident of indecency – no groping hands, no taking advantage of the closeness – it made me such a proud Woman – I cannot express it in words.
Secularism – the most heart warming moment for me and many others was the all Muslim rally. About 50 Muslims in their traditional caps and clothes, walking together with a banner saying “Declare Pakistan a terrorist state” – you should have been there to believe it. I fail to understand why are people becoming Anti Muslims after these attacks / blasts – few sick minds sitting in a different country are planning these attacks/ blasts and why do we generalize the issue. Have we forgotten that there have been many attacks / riots initiated by Hindus too? No religion teaches you to kill people / ignite passion to kill people in the name of religion. One aspect which I did not like about the peace rally is anti slogans against Pakistan in general. “Pakistan Murdabad” and few used abusive language too. I accept that all of us are angry now – but at the same time – none of us has a right to pass moral judgments on the entire country just because few from that country did what they did. There are hundreds of good souls there too – why malign them in the process?
Fear or the absence of it – Many were advised not to go – there will lots of people – it will be an easy target for terrorists, there might be lathi charge, there might be a stampede – Did we care? No.
Power of the common man – A common man is powerful. If we want, we can do anything we want to. This was a leaderless movement propagated through technology (smses/phone calls/ networking sites/ emails) and it was a heartwarming moment for all of us to be there. We will never forget that night. I don’t know whether how effective that peace walk will be to address the issue of terrorism but one thing is crystal clear in my mind. “What can a common man do? – it is upto the politicians/ heads of the country / heads of institutions to decide” is not something which I will ever say in my life. We have it in us to make a difference and we should

I received an sms from a friend which might sum up the entire “Peace walk” – “The politicians divide our country by words while the terrorists unite it with bullets. What an irony!

Lessons from 26 /11 (Terror attacks in Mumbai)

2008-12-02T20:09:00.001+05:30

Much has been spoken /heard / seen about the Terror attacks which started on 26^th November 2008 in South Mumbai. Like many others, it left me with different emotions at different times ranging from shock and disbelief to sadness and tears to anger and frustration. All of us want to do something about it but are not sure what to do. I was just pondering on what I have learnt / realized from these attacks…

Always pay attention to a threat / warning (I believe there were few warnings which were either ignored or heeded for a short time and then conveniently forgotten)
Don’t get irritated when a security person stops you / your car for checking at airports/ multiplexes/offices / hotels etc – he/she is just doing his duty and more importantly, it can save your life (which I like many others have realized only after 26/11)
Be alert always – Lot of people were saved in the attacks because they either ducked or pretended to be dead or managed to move out of the hotel due to their presence of mind or because they were heeding to the advices given by the alert hotel staff. Whenever a crisis strikes, don’t panic – keep your calm and come out a winner.
Courage – Men at Army / Police / Navy/ NSF are expected to be courageous and they did not prove us wrong this time too – but what surprised me is the courage of so many citizens esp. the hotel staff. All of us are courageous and we should never underestimate ourselves.
Brainwash – People are not born terrorists – they become terrorists as few sick minds brainwash the oppressed and instigate them to kill people. People who are weak can always be brainwashed. Brainwash people around you to BE GOOD.
Respect- Terrorists have a history of being oppressed / tortured by others. All of us individually should take a responsibility to never harm any body or hurt any religious sentiments. No religion in this world teaches you to look down on any other religion. Follow your religion and respect others who follow a different religion. “Live and let live” is a simple concept – Please implement it.
Do your job right – This attack could have been averted if few people had done their job right. Give your 100% to your job – will lessen lots of complications in life – the irony of the situation is that we can take example from the lone terrorist in Taj who managed to not get killed for 2.5 / 3 days and kill so many people when the entire world was waiting for him to be captured / killed.
Larger Purpose – So many politicians / individuals concentrated on bad mouthing each other to gain political mileage without concentrating on the larger issue of combating the terrorist attack. Pl learn from their mistakes and apply that in your daily life. Many of us do that knowingly or unknowingly in our personal and professional life. Does no good – to you or the situation.

No time for Art Of Living?

2008-11-25T12:43:00.000+05:30

People who know me know that I am an Art of Living Volunteer. Sometimes I get questions like “Why am I propagating it?” / “Why are you spending so much time in the courses”/ “Why on earth are you going for an AOL meeting on weekends”?? ..you can do so much else…I agree…I can do a lot to relax on weekends…So what exactly did I do on weekends earlier i.e. before AOL???

Before AOL

I normally woke up at 6:30 a.m. during weekdays, so on weekends I take the liberty of getting up around 9:00 am / 9:30 am….If I have partied on Friday /Saturday nights then the time usually streches till 10:30 am / 11:00 am … After making my morning cuppa….I would lazily browse the weekend supplement .….in the meantime my cook would come and would make the breakfast and lunch and leave…My maid would come by noon and the next two hours I would give her instructions and myself do the household work that I have been “postponing”during weekdays because of “No time” ....roughly by 2:00 / 2:30, the house would be spick and span and the kitchen filled with the veggies / groceries to survive the week…What next??? It would depend on the urgency of the situation but on an average out of the four weekends in a month (8 days in total)…I used to spend 1/ 2 days shopping in malls (clothes / books/ groceries etc), 1 day in a beauty parlour, 1 /2 days catching up on the movies and the remaining to catch up on my reading...how does the above scenario sound like to you?? A relaxing weekend?? Maybe ...sometimes they were…but still I came with the same mournful face at work the next day…Another week . AArrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!! When will Friday come?? !!!!

Whats the scene now?? I still work….my organization has changed but the demands at work are still the same …have increased actually….and besides the tasks mentioned above i.e. managing the house / groceries etc / catching up with the latest movies….I have time for much more….and I utilize the time spreading awareness about Art of Living and motivate people to do the course…Why?? Because I have greatly benefited from it …I have become more positive, my time management skills have improved, my financial sense has improved, my people skills have improved …and I can go on and on…..in a gist…I am a better person that what I was thanks to Art of living and now I want more and people to undergo the process..Im not saying that the same benefits would come to you too….but the possibilities are endless …U never know ….When I convince people to do the course, many promise that they will do it some day….but not right now…why??? No time …

How busy are we really?? “No time” is an excuse which I used to give before for not doing whatever I did not want to do….Weekdays were bad as I had hectic office hours and weekends were equally bad because I had to catch up with household tasks…the important activities like exercising / having “heart to heart conversations” with family / friends” / having your finances in place, thinking about “what do I really want to do in life” were always conveniently ignored in the excuse of “No time” …The amusing part is all of us have the time to discuss issues which are uncontrollable viz. Mumbai rains / Mumbai traffic/ Office stress / Boss issues/ Spouse issues but we don’t have the time to do something which can help us face it all with a smile on our face. Why? Because we have no time. J. Its almost like saying “No time for your own life!” which is really sad- .pl don’t think that I will be sad If you don’t do the course….I feel sad for you coz you are loosing out on something blissful because of your excuse of “No time”

Me - Im happy –alive and kicking - coz I have all the time in the world for Art of Living :-)

WHATS IN A NAME?

2008-11-23T02:41:00.000+05:30

WHATS IN A NAME?
I was updating my birthday lsome time back and I realized that I did not know names of few aunties at all…it struck me and got me thinking…..
Its not that I don’t know these aunties..have met them upteen number of times….have talked to them even more…..and genuinely like them….but don’t know their names..why??? am used to calling them as aunty….ba…..chanchi….etc…etc….so don’t know their names at all……
How important is a name??? If you look at it practically….its very important….the first identity of a person is by his or her name….the importance can be gauged by the thinking and discussions /arguments which are done amongst family members to think of names for a newborn ….after a lot of horoscopes matches….analysis and paralysis…few bruised egos…..is a name finally decided and bestowed on the newborn…the worst irony is that the person to whom the name is going to be stuck throughout does not have any say in the decision!!! The poor sufferers like Gogol…(read the namesake?) suffer the consequences throughout their lives….In our college we had a girl named Dreamy and guess what her brother was named? Dicky….!!! She came from a Gujarati family so there is a possibility the family members did not have any idea about the connotations of the name …but I still fail to understand why would they name their son “Dicky”….I would love to meet him to know about his experiences of being stuck with a name like that….
Everyone has their share of woes as far as their names are concerned….few whose names are fairly common (like mine) have issues with the fact that they have always have similar named people around them at school, family, friends, work….and so on….if they have a common surname too then that adds to the confusion….I remember a colleague sharing an episode…once at work she got a call from the security desk that a travel agent had come to deliver her goa tickets…my “always hyper colleague” (a parsi so u can imagine!!) freaked out…she had a high pitched argument with the travel agent over the phone trying to explain him that she had NOT BOOKED ANY TICKET OF SUCH SORTS!! (gauging from her current voice pitch Im sure the pressure level of not only the agent but the entire floor must have gone up!) and after half an hour they realized the tickets were booked by another person with the exact name and surname who had joined recently so people were unaware about her existence…common woes like their choice of email ids/ usernames being always unavailable are always there..
Few share woes of complicated spellings which mostly lead to being addressed incorrectly in person or in writing….and from whatever conversations I have had with such people…I have realized that most of them don’t take kindly to being addressed incorrectly …they must be also facing problems while booking tickets / issue of visas/passports…..
Few share woes of having typical regional names….we can make out from their names only that they come from Kolkatta/Gujarat/UP…..and so on…..The boys in Gujarat…..names like Jignesh, Mitesh, Ritesh, Jalpesh….are not uncommon…..Names like Sudip, Tomali, Bijoy…have Bengal written all over them….many don’t mind….but In todays times when the word is becoming smaller…..youngsters prefer to have more cosmo names…
There are some who if not prefixed with a Mr or a Ms.- their genders are mostly assumed incorrectly…Charu, Jyoti, Meena…are all names of Men I know….their secretaries have amusing anecdotes to share about misplaced identities (read genders!)
And few who have always been stuck with their pet names…..so much so that many are not aware of their real names …Pinky, Tinnu, Munnu, Pika, Ronti are some such names….to think that they have such beautiful real names…like Anamika, Aparna, Debparna…and they are being addressed as Pika, Ronti, Munnu….is saddening …most of these are those whose names sound a little complicated to call as Kids….A friends 4 year old kid is called Siddhanth…..he is such a naughty brat…. calling him “Siddhanth” is sort of a tounge twister for me…..I stick to Sid….less elderly….That is thanks to the fact that he does not have a pet name….but if he had a pet name….in all probabilities it would have stuck….Some shortened names get stuck …Adi for Aditya, Abhi for Abhiskek, Bips for Bipasha, Myths for Mythili, Rasho for Rashmi, Sudeep for Sudeepto, Jeetu for Jeetendra…some get stuck with being called by their surnames….mostly guys….Tewari, Banerjee, Saith, Handa, Tripathi, Virkar…are few of my male friends/colleagues whom I call by their surnames…. But trouble arises when you meet their family….u cannot address them by their surnames when you know that 3 different people would look at you…
Few people have names which are completely opposite to what they are….Shweta (white) for a dark complexioned girl….Shraddha (faith) for an atheist….Vir (Brave) for a meek person…but you cannot help it as you don’t know what the child is going to turn out to be….
And lastly the aunties/uncles/bas / bhaiyas/didis of the world…who are always addressed as aunty/ba…so u never get to know their real names…..you only have to dig out their names when you are sending a courier/ booking a ticket for them or some similar task….
Whats in a name ? lots….i guess!

Khuda Ke Liye- For the sake of God

2008-11-23T02:37:00.000+05:30

Khuda Ke Liye- For the sake of God
Brilliant- Thought Provoking- Hard Hitting- words can’t describe how amazing I found the movie
Though the movie discusses the macro issue of Muslim fanaticism and what people do for the sake of God – (Brilliant title b.t.w.) few things/ characters struck me which were at a much micro level….
I really loved the character of the main actress (Mary in US/ Mariam in Pakistan..brilliant acting) ..her warmth came across ….and was present throughout the film even when she was facing the worst in Aghanisthan..I loved her spirit/ spunk of not bursting under pressure…the way she spoke to Nasiruddin even though she needed him…showed righteousness/ strength of character… her jest for life was present even when she was in Afghanistan under House arrest…her smile when playing with the two girls…her laughter when playing with their mother…Every day is a struggle….what makes life worthwhile is how you enjoy the struggle too…and at the end…when she wins the case..she could have easily gone back to USA and married Dave…what did she do instead?? Stayed back and opened a school in the same place where she had seen the worst…the end could not have been better than that…
The second character which I loved was the brother who was learning music in Chicago…charming, friendly, man with a vision and strength of character…when his girlfriend wanted to marry him, the way he explained why he did not want to was great. “I don’t want to marry you not because of religion but because of culture – today you have left drinking wine and eating pork – tomorrow you may stop showing your legs and may change your religion – you may turn into a completely different person then what you are now –you may start hating me after that” How true is that..it happens in so many marriages / relationships..few change because of their spouse..they don’t realize it then….but in the process of adjusting / wooing their partners…they loose out on themselves…two people are different…why not enjoy the differences instead of becoming a mirror image of your partner??? “We” is definitely great – but why do we need to ignore the “I” in the process ? (Profound words by a friend!) One other thing which struck me was that when he was being tormented by the Americans, what was he writing on the wall? I Love USA…He did that every time somebody came and tormented him… somebody is being bad to you…u be good to them…Sweet revenge is the best revenge. At the end he started adding a MA to USA…I Love USAMA (Osama) – why?? Because the Americans wanted to hear that… he wrote that so that they could execute him…but one thing which you can learn from the same is that “ Make people hear what they want to hear!” you may think otherwise but no matter what you say / what you think - it is never going to go in their head as they have already reached the conclusion and will not budge until you say it…instead of tormenting yourself by convincing them otherwise…say what they want to hear and just close the issue….last but not the least the letter which he wrote to his girlfriend/wife…” I Love USA ….and will continue to do so….I Love Americans and will not start hating them because few Americans have been bad with me….I hope that you continue loving Muslims and not hate them because few Muslims have been bad to your country” ...such profound words…all of us need to understand that….because of few people we tend to generalize…see one Gujju who is miserly with money….all Gujjus are miserly…see one Punjabi dressed like she is going for a wedding when in fact she is going to buy veggies…all Punjus are show offs…see one auto rickshaw cheat when he is a Bihari/Bhaiya…all Biharis /Bhaiyas are like that…Meet one cunning Bengali lady… Bengali women are cunning only…All Muslims are terrorists only….and it goes on and on...all of us make foolish assumptions ...I see four Marathi men working in my office…all have traits of insecurity….so I had made a foolish assumption that all Marathi men are like that only…..and this assumption stayed till I worked with somebody very secure and knowledgeable…all the while I had assumed him to be a South Indian and later learnt that he is a Maharashtrian!

Life teaches us lessons in the unlikeliest of places J

Believe in yourself

2008-11-23T02:27:00.000+05:30

Believe in yourself
“Whats the worst that can happen? You can only be richer by experience” is a quote I read today in TOI…words so simple and yet so profound..

At many points in our lives we feel depressed due to failures / defeats / unfortunate events….”why did it have to happen to me??” we exclaim…..we feel bogged down by failures and refuse to come out of it ..blaming people, situations, luck and even God sometimes for the situation….Is it worth it???

If life was a cakewalk….what fun would it be anyways??? Problems/ difficult situations r a part and parcel of everyones life…whats more important is how you handle them…the person who faces difficulties with a smile on his face, learns from experiences and works on his weaknesses without forgetting his strengths comes out a strong winner….”Agar man ka ho to accha…..man ha na ho to aur bhi accha.” Famous words by the Big B…such simple words yet so profound….one should be thankful of the learnings/ experiences…as it helps one become a stronger and more humble person….imagine “Mr. A” and “Mr. B” – Mr. A is extremely talented…lucky (if there is something called luck?)..and rises from strength to strength without any hurdles…on the other hand Mr. B- mediocre talent …not that lucky (?) but the willingness to learn / excel is there….he faces some kind of hurdle or the other due to which he may take more time to rise to the top …but reaches there anyways due to his positivity and determination…Mr. A and Mr. B are now in a race for the top seat – who do you think would be more fit for the position…both will be able to manage the top seat..no doubts about that…but if you ask me…I would recommend mr b- why? Because he has dealt with all kinds of situation….he is more humble as he has seen it all…the good times and the bad….and thus would be more equipped to handle any situation….Mr. A due to his over achievements may get bogged down by pressure if something goes wrong…but Mr B has already dealt with that kind of pressure so he is immune to it….
I can say from personal experiences that I have learnt the maximum whenever I have faced failures….yeah…it can get pretty frustrating sometimes but if you learn how to deal with it you come out stronger….becoming more humble in the process....and more grateful for the things/ people around them…
So the next time you get low marks/ low ratings/ have an unsuccessful interview/ project….dont loose hope,,,all is not lost….try to analyse what went wrong….analyse your strengths and weaknesses….give your 100%...be enthuastic….and then ROCK IT J!! The world will be yours .